How To… Be A Salesman

Michael Wermuth – So you want to be a salesman? Well, here’s how a salesman must act. Oh, but there are at least three types of salesmen (and only three represented in this article)… Which type would you want to be the most? Type 1: The Door-To-Door Salesman As a door-to-door salesman, you get to go…

How To… Identify a Look-Alike

Max Jessop – Hey-ho, hi-ho, and ho-hum, my friends! And welcome to another (late) edition of How To… Like we’ve said in previous How To’s, we care about your personal health and security… you know, until we get to the disclaimer. Either way, we want to help you, the reader, with dangers of real life. So…

How To… Make School More Muppety

Kyle Mahoney – As the beginning of the 2013-2014 school year approaches, our minds think of very specific things: New shoes, autumn, essays, and, of course, MUPPETS. As I’m sure most of you can relate, I’ve been cramming as many Muppets into my summer as possible by watching DVDs, listening to music and burning through my…

How To… Get a Girl to Like You

Maxwell Jessop – Hello, dudes, dudettes… and other hip variations of the word dude! I’m back! Sorry for my inactivity around here. But I’m gonna make it up to you, because today I’m going to show all you singles out there how to win a lady… or a chicken… I get the two mixed up sometimes.…

How To… Enjoy a Hotel Stay

The Muppet Mindset Precariously Presents: How To… Enjoy a Hotel Stay Maxwell Jessop – Well folks, it’s January once again. The first month of the year. When people return to work and vacations begin to die down. Of course, that doesn’t stop me, because today I’m going to show you people just how to enjoy…

How To… Live on Sesame Street

The Muppet Mindset Repentantly presents… HOW TO… Live on Sesame Street First and foremost, come to terms with the fact that your friendly neighbors there will be monsters, talking food, singing cows, massive birds, hairy Snuffleupaguses (Snuffleupagi?), grouchy Grouches, arithmetic-loving vampires, fairies, Berts, Ernies, and normal people named Bob, Gordon, Susan, Maria, Luis, Alan, Gina,…

How To… Be a Good Roommate

Maxwell Jessop – Welcome back, readers. Or should I say, students? I hope you’re studying up for the Muppetology school season coming real soon. I know Ryan won’t give tests, but… I hope you’re studying anyway. But that’s not why I’m here. You see this How To is for all those MMIT (Muppet Mindset Institute…

How To… Say No To Wilkins Coffee

Maxwell Jessop – From a marketing standpoint, Wilkins is probably the good guy. But how about if you don’t like Wilkins Coffee or are biased about coffee at all? In these times you should be prepared. Yes… I know Wilkins Coffee is now defunct, and those were probably just short stories for advertising, but you…

How To… Act Around Bears

Maxwell Jessop – Here at The Muppet Mindset, we like to make sure you have the best in personal safety. So, we decided for a How To this week, we would show you what to do and not do in the presence of ferocious bear.  The Muppet Mindset (Skeptically) Presents… HOW TO… Act Around Bears…

How To… Be a Fraggle

Ryan Dosier – Who wouldn’t want to be a Fraggle, right? You get to be fun-sized, furry, have a tail… Today on The Muppet Mindset we are pleased to introduce our guaranteed-to-work* method of turning yourself into a Fraggle! Just follow this step by step guide and you’ll be well on your way to dancing…