Rock Stars NOT on The Muppet Show

Casey Daron – Hey, everyone! Long time no see… Something seems different here. Maybe it’s the lighting? Anywho… today I will be presenting a list of rock stars that TOTALLY should have been on The Muppet Show.

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KISS – KISS’ peak was in 1977, just when the Muppet Show was starting to get really good reception. With KISS’ bombastic stage show and crazy make-up, it seems like they would have been a perfect match to the Muppets.

I can imagine the band jamming with the Electric Mayhem, Animal and Peter Criss having a drum off. “Space” Ace Frehley could climb aboard the Swinetrek for a segment of “Pigs in Space.” And Gene Simmons could, um, hit on Miss Piggy… I guess. For the finale, KISS and the Muppets could sing the craziest version of “Rock and Roll All Nite” anyone’s ever seen.

I just wonder what Gene Simmons’ bill would have been for a show like that!

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Van Halen – Van Halen’s debut album came out in 1978, and was an instant success. By 1980, everyone knew of them. David Lee Roth’s eccentric stage presence would have been hilarious to see in the midst of the Muppets. I can see him trying to take Kermit’s place as host for the night. Eddie Van Halen could try to teach Scooter how to get better at his guitar playing. Maybe the band would even try to replace the Electric Mayhem! Gonzo would definitely want to learn some jumping skills from Eddie. Miss Piggy would probably swoon over David, much to his dismay. I mean, who would want to date a pig? (Besides Gene Simmons…)

The Rolling Stones – This episode would start off with Kermit announcing the band, only to have a bunch of boulders roll across the stage. Then Kermit would make his scrunchy face everyone loves. Fozzie would mention how was a lot less creepy than when Alice Cooper was on. Mick Jagger would lead an aerobics class, to which Miss Piggy would struggle with. The band would play “Little T & A” to a female whatnot, which would proceed to turn into a horrible monster. While performing “Paint it Black”, Animal would throw buckets of black paint everywhere, splashing all over the members of the band. The show would end with the band complaining that it was the worst gig they had ever played. Roll credits. Hey, why wasn’t I a writer of the Muppet Show? Probably because I wasn’t alive yet…

There are so many other bands I can imagine… Scorpions, Boston, Nirvana on Muppets Tonight, just to name a few. If the Muppet Show ever got resurrected, I can totally see the Foo Fighters being guests. (Disney, please let that happen… I beg of you!) ROCK ON!

 

The Muppet Show by Ryan Doseir, muppetmindset@gmail.com

2 thoughts on “Rock Stars NOT on The Muppet Show

  1. AMAZING!!!! All of those bands would’ve been great to see on the show, props for picking the Mighty =VAN HALEN=, man!!!!! I could totally see EVH giving Scooter a guitar lesson. What if VH and the Electric Mayhem duked it out playing “And the Cradle Will Rock”?!?!? Or the band just jamming, with Mahna Mahna randomly coming on stage, only for a scat-off with DLR to ensue?!!??! The possibilities!!!!!!!!!
    Could you imagine QUEEN on the Muppet Show, with Freddie Mercury having a voice off with… Beaker?!?! And Brian May singing “39” backstage/onstage, with a bunch of antics ensuing behind him!!! Or best of all, a Henson-era Muppets Bohemian Rhapsody!!!!!!!!!
    I’ve gotta stop myself before I start fantasizing about ZZ Top, David Bowie, Ted Nugent or RUSH on TMS!!!!!!! But dude, you’re article was awesome. It appears I’m not the only Classic Rock/Muppets enthusiast in the world!!!!!

    Rock on Bro!!!!!!!!!!!

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